Enjoy the Waiting
Now I’m free, free fallin’
(Free fallin’, I’m a free fallin’,
I’m a free fallin’, I’m a free fallin’, I’m a)
Yeah, I’m free, free fallin’
(Free fallin’, I’m a free fallin’,
I’m a free fallin’, I’m a free fallin’, I’m a)
~ Tom Petty
I’m floating somewhere in between. This summer passed me by. I was in a rut. Wanting to grow in new directions. Feeling stagnant where I was. Feeling torn over which direction to move in and feeling frustrated that I wasn’t somewhere new.
Have you ever felt the energy of some new adventure just at your finger tips? Or, been ready to take your life down a new road? You know it’s ahead of you somewhere, but it’s hard to tell just how long it will take to get to the turn. That’s where I’m at. It’s like a soft fall through the cosmic ether. Almost like floating.
This is the waiting.
In some moments it’s hard to trust that I will land safely. In others, I’m exhilarated by the suspension. But mostly there’s a lot of tension in my thoracic spine, a deep desire to go back to bed and a curiosity to see if I can just hibernate my way there.
I’ve moved around quite a bit this past year (9 roofs over my head in 12 months . . . that’s another story) and I’ll be in between residences again the next 2 months. I’m both very lucky & grateful for a friend who’s able to host me and very lucky & grateful for a new home to move in to.
I’ve been asking for changes in my life. The kind of changes that are practically impossible for me to imagine, as they are so different than the paths I’ve chosen the last 20 years. I feel like the antidote to my desires is on the other side of this move. That I’m almost somewhere new. It’s in this space that I’m learning to see that now is my time to honor my life as it currently is. Just soak it in. Feel the frustrations, take a nap when I want, go play outside in the fall weather, and follow my curiosity. Free fall out into nothin’.
It is hard to not rush forward. I’m breathing deeply and remembering the joy that comes from floating through space. Uninhibited. Untethered. Free falling. Enjoying the wait.
Where are you at? Are you enjoying the wait?
xo Laura Blaise